surrendering to defeat

hundred thoughts

through my head flow

like a fast flowing flood

one banging the other

with a hard negation

others modifying another

and none static

as an unmovable boulder

my anchors float

and the deck is scattered

shifting with speed

i drift directionless

searching

for strength deep within

questing

for help from far beyond

silently

i wail, whine

and weep

aloud

but nothing happens

except my drowning

deep

in the deepest waters

dragged into the mire

and unable to put my foot

on solid ground

i yell, i fight

and i fear

accepting my defeat

surrendering

to shame and blame

that wounds

henry victor    12.06.2010

another unresponsive love

your cold hearted unresponsiveness

to my seeking you so fervently

makes my heart slow down

threatening even to stop pumping

that life giving blood to flow

to every fibre of my being

your hiding your face

and letting me not know your dwelling

that i may not reach you

to plead with you listen to supplications

overflowing from my heart

the centre of my desolations

your running away from me

with those gold ear-studs

your stone deafness and silence

of that widest wilderness

not even a camel, the desert ship

can enable me to reach you

to deliver my message

for my becoming whole

henry victor           16.04.2010

echoes of fear

i loved her with the power

of the morning sun

but that love’s only echoes

are those of fear as stark

as the darkest night

with neither love’s closest moon

not its most distant star;

did a secret worm

enter my heart to infect my love

that now resonates in her heart

as horror prompting her

to distance herself from me

henry victor        04.02.2010

my predicament

with my right hand

i held tight the head

of the creepy creature

curled around my body

lest she stung

while like a monkey

i clung

with my left

on to the ladder

that led to my safety

floorboard

at the end, in middle

i did hang

unable to let go

from my hand

her flexible

but venomous head

attached stiffly

to the body

coiled to mine

that i could not

pull up

or let it down

to my deathbed

henry victor      03.01.2007

 

deserted

deserted in the desert

of the dusk of my youth

to stagger and stumble

on the swamp of unemployment

to become trapped

in the trap of poverty

but i am now intoxicated

with red wine

that divine love demanding a dance

expecting from this toddler of grace

a demeanour of the man

who embraced

his death in loin cloth

leaving elegance

his fabric of glory to enemy

to cover shame

the stink in soul

and with cream covering

aging wrinkles

henry victor               11.10.2011  

change

with garments of silky humility
you entered my orchard
tasting and eating from trees
i planted and watered

with my own sweat and blood
but soon you cut open fences
of all four sides of my grove
like that military enemy

implementing Tamil genocide

unclothed now you also invited
strange men to my teak bed
making it comical for them

driving me into neighbourhood

new and derelict to be serviced
by the Edmonton food bank
and other drop in centres

11.02.2012

summer bird of yesteryear

every time i peep into my backyard
through that bay window
in my large living room
that summer bird of yesteryear,

(my fluttering memories of that woman
a new canadian goose
who decided to fly away
with another gander,

no – that white peacock,)
flies into to my unkempt garden
to torment and torture
me; my heart with six bypasses

then, threatens to stop
while, the cancerous cells, around
my daughter’s neck, multiply
like weeds in a neglected patch