surrendering to defeat

hundred thoughts

through my head flow

like a fast flowing flood

one banging the other

with a hard negation

others modifying another

and none static

as an unmovable boulder

my anchors float

and the deck is scattered

shifting with speed

i drift directionless

searching

for strength deep within

questing

for help from far beyond

silently

i wail, whine

and weep

aloud

but nothing happens

except my drowning

deep

in the deepest waters

dragged into the mire

and unable to put my foot

on solid ground

i yell, i fight

and i fear

accepting my defeat

surrendering

to shame and blame

that wounds

henry victor    12.06.2010

your grace

spray me with your grace

until i am soaked in rain

of your love (reigning the world

to bind the wounds of deep hurt

caused by callous creatures, a disgrace

in heaven and on earth);

inspire and provoke deep within me

your forgiveness, a contrast

to my vengeance, revenge-filled

thoughts that translate

into my speech and louder acts

discrediting your image in me

henry victor    28.07.2010

i build my today

divorcing the lunatic asylum

of yesterday that gave my roof

bed, food, and park to roam

around as my best comfort

i build my today in the thin air

on nothing, hoping my heart

will soar into tomorrow, better

than my many yesteryear

in the name of good human

husbanding, fathering, later

in a grandiose lunacy of owning

my name i helplessly stole earlier

henry victor          17.01.2019

pitching your tent

 

pitching always your tent

where i have pitched mine

beside my neighbor’s

you remain my lord

you are my peace

from above

a light from heaven

with life like an ever-flowing river

to quench my thirst

you are that glorious whole

the most holy one

my feeble feet discover rest

in your place

you are the pioneer

that stone in the corner

by being my servant

serving me in my need

henry victor     02.02.2003

your absence

my morning silence is silent

overflowing with emptiness

empty of disorder and fight

with each other

no quarrels, no arguments

no shouting, no yelling

hence, no hugging

nor kissing each other

shoes in place, beds

spread with no wrinkles

no power 92, no super station

wash-room light knocked off

my afternoon too, the same

continues, also in the evening

and in night for another morning

with emptiness with your absence

henry victor     12.08.2002

stop to breathe

‘creative writing’ has become my breath

while relating to people to find something

common like the ‘Good Samaritan’ sympathetic

to man stuck on road from Jerusalem to Jericho

speaking hence to Amber, Ashley, Arsha

Brian, Brenda, Bethusha, Beeby, Benji

and other children screaming and shouting

as they run to the ice cream vendor

and i stop not so much to fix the jammed

ice cream car, knowing well my ignorance

of motor mechanics, but to feel the pain

of man stuck on roads

and admire his patience and persistence

to make the machine work

though he carries not the tools

but a heart for children of rich shy folks

drowning in self-sufficiency

considering themselves more important

than a bard who stops to record

the pulsating heart; nay, to breathe!

henry victor    02.09.2002

the scarecrow

you were hardly seven

amusing me with heaven

with your success in tricking

me with a hilarious scarecrow

that Tina, our pet dog

mistook for a prowler

in our garden of shoe-flower

barking loud with fear

at a scarecrow with shoulders straight

wearing your torn frock for dress

and a curd-pot for head with face

chalked on it, your first artistic creation

henry victor     09.09.2002

silenced

after i heard that ‘shut up’

right inside my ear

suddenly

an invisible monster

a formless fear

entered my abode

and silenced

my tattered couches

and the cushions

that continuously echoed

and re-echoed

those foot-falls of your soft feet

now i continue to float

with the music of your silence

sounds instructing my soul

dancing your songs

even after you had left

at the day’s end

the old man’s house is bereft

of a constantly chirping bird

in whose eyes hung my hope

giving me direction

for my remaining distance

to cope with courage

my pilgrimage to heaven’s gate

that final bed warm and soft

requiring no brain

to discern

to stop at red

henry victor                  12.02.2013

another unresponsive love

your cold hearted unresponsiveness

to my seeking you so fervently

makes my heart slow down

threatening even to stop pumping

that life giving blood to flow

to every fibre of my being

your hiding your face

and letting me not know your dwelling

that i may not reach you

to plead with you listen to supplications

overflowing from my heart

the centre of my desolations

your running away from me

with those gold ear-studs

your stone deafness and silence

of that widest wilderness

not even a camel, the desert ship

can enable me to reach you

to deliver my message

for my becoming whole

henry victor           16.04.2010

kiss from my granddaughter

she knows to kiss

and many kisses on my cheeks

she has stamped

and that too lovingly

so from her

i plead for a kiss

holding her closer

to my wrinkled face

she licks my face

as if painting with her tongue

and then giggles

as if, now, it’s done

henry victor          08.07.2018

echoes of fear

i loved her with the power

of the morning sun

but that love’s only echoes

are those of fear as stark

as the darkest night

with neither love’s closest moon

not its most distant star;

did a secret worm

enter my heart to infect my love

that now resonates in her heart

as horror prompting her

to distance herself from me

henry victor        04.02.2010

my predicament

with my right hand

i held tight the head

of the creepy creature

curled around my body

lest she stung

while like a monkey

i clung

with my left

on to the ladder

that led to my safety

floorboard

at the end, in middle

i did hang

unable to let go

from my hand

her flexible

but venomous head

attached stiffly

to the body

coiled to mine

that i could not

pull up

or let it down

to my deathbed

henry victor      03.01.2007

 

two little goslings

as the sun went down to settle

in his home before the nightfall 

i went for a stroll

along a man-made canal

and in the twilight my eyes fell

now on a gosling stuck

on a cement crack

making her un-swim able

to run to her company

and she pulled and pulled until

a piece of skin too was floating

so i bent down to pick

to hold and to heal

the injured gosling

but trusting not my stance

that was nothing but pastoral

she swam as fast as she could

with one hand holding the hanging piece

i walked further and much farther

with a helpless thought

and a new pain in my heart

only to encounter yet another

gosling lost and lonely

and again i stretched my hand

picking her from waters cold

to hold her closer to my warm chest

while she trustingly

settled in my palm

henry victor       28.03.2007

 

grace to serve

my love for winged creatures

dragged me into the wilderness

the home of the wild beasts

my focus on feathers blinded

me utterly until i was just behind

the lioness following a little rabbit

now aware of grace

that saved me i quickly climbed

a wall to walk out of the wilds

only to encounter a tiger

that graciously gave me

just a mere eye contact

and let me walk through

dodging a herd of elephants

i may save my brother pursued

by two domestic wild angry dogs!

henry victor      02.03.2007

 

kiss from y granddaughter

she knows to kiss

and many kisses on my cheeks

she has stamped

and that too lovingly

so from her

i plead for a kiss

holding h

er closer

to my wrinkled face

she licks my face

as if painting with her tongue

and then giggles

as if, now, it’s done

henry victor          08.07.2018

more attention!

i saw myself this morning

in every nook and corner

excusing my daughter

for her little age

her youth

apologizing three times

‘oh, she is only a puppy’

as i encountered the senior

exercising with Woofy

a cairn terrier

very undisciplined, unruly

following other dogs

on the walking trail

pleading for more patting

considering other walkers

as her faithful master

needing

more

attention

but not mine

henry victor      15.05.2007

escapee

 

you were just a few months old

when we bought a dozen of budgies

to keep the house noisy and colorful

it was then that one of these birds

got out of our aviary

that tore my heart and caused me pain

not because of the loss of my funds

or the decrease in the sound

but the escapee knew not

to survive in the outside world

marked by too many predators

now with three months more

for you to be eighteen

and with your flight

away from my sight

the same concern surfaced in my heart

leaving me with a sleepless night

henry victor      26.09.2007

masking truth

to love and to be loved by you

i kept concealing facts

masking truth

and invented an apparent reality

i said to my soul when rooted

in love and assured of your growth

and when that moment has arrived

i shall plainly speak

but when the moment was here to speak

accuracy, i spoke another lie to cushion

your heart while carrying in my heart

the pain caused by speech not so plain

henry victor     15.08.2002

untitled 1

my love for you both in the past

and present fluctuated like my blood sugar

sometimes too high, and at other

times dropping so low, threatening

my soul with a coma, as excessive grace

hits my heart like the fast acting glucose

i chew bringing in some normalcy for plasma

to carry the required energy to limbs

since i am nearer the gate of your mansion

i desire now a devotion that is constant

so you may, in my heart, find some rest

as i work your acts with my feet and hands

© henry victor            24.02.2018

soling the soul

you stood outside my door for so long

before i let you in; now, for you, i long

to keep you in my embrace, to explore

every aspect of your being, head to toe

i want my nerves to feel your heart beat

on my chest, an unrented bed in long wait;

it was actually due to fear of bed-bugs crawling

to suck blood from a heart that is pumping

but last night the very thought of you

created that most beautiful tempo

for both my peaceful deeper sleep

and nightmare free hike for a poetic soul

© henry victor           21.01.2016