shattered dream

reality, far removed from my dream

of my earlier days of romance with success
tortures me daily in my sleep and wakefulness
cutting me into pieces each calling your name
i struggle to let go from my soul soaring
victoriously, into suffering and pain

i, now, linger in that prison, the four walls

levelled around me by my own will and making
and working of the destiny gnawing
joyously like the beaver making the dam
nibbling the taller trees with shorter teeth
arranged in nature with none to dominate
that ultimate will to shatter my heart’s proposal
i had put forward with my innocent compassion
going beyond my initial skill accumulation

henry victor      01.01.2015

 

 

irrelevant

it looks you are in slumber, do not interfere

in conflicts of humans, and even let one
dominate the other as if you dream the game
of the big fish playing against the small sprat

perhaps, perhaps, you do so to let the drama

of crucifixion continue in the same one
the path taken by Jesus of Nazareth to confirm
his destiny, for humanity, an inevitable fate

if they were to live the Kingdom value!

doing so you make Jesus a lying one
and his words, “ask, seek and knock” inapt
in the world cherishing the grabbing spirit

your being makes my doing all that praying

irrelevant not just for me alone but also for ones
you have put on my way, wrapping them tight
in my bosom adding in  my heart my weight

purpose and Peace

i stand before you with wants

not unknown to you though my need
the deepest, is to blend with your will
where i will find my purpose and Peace

this will make me stand apart

from all blending too quickly happens
the greatest temptation for men and women
serving an Aaronic altar wearing a Mosaic mask

they choose  the least resistant path

providing the masses peace, an absence
of conflicts, an added music for dance
and above all the idol, a golden calf

assist me to take the risk, that discomfort

of sailing in turbulent waters wearing a garb
of nonconformity, adding an extra disquiet
for a journey into your being lacking a handle

 

dream short lived

i bring to you the dream

i feel will be short lived
in this country
of peace!

exactly a year ago when i escaped

that tragic accident escaping
with a minor bruise to my ford focus
my red station wagon
i assumed you sent your angels
to shelter me for a greater work
in the peace country
of building a togetherness
with three distinct communities
that this unity becomes a model, to shine
as bright light for others to walk
with ease!

today after so much of hard work

from passionate and single minded
commitment to you and your Kingdom
with willing, simple, and transformed life
with much grazing your word
i find there are still forces
surfacing from self-importance desiring
a takeover i cannot battle any longer
with ease!

hence, here i stand

for your opening me the door
your showing me the path
to walk my next step
or, for your sending me that angel
once more that i may return
in peace!

burnt breakfast

my mind is inclined to do that good

and i labour hard, putting lot of my heart
but often ending with an effort wasted
throwing into garbage like my burnt breakfast

and it continues to pierce my nostrils

even in noon, reminding my lack
of awareness caused by my preoccupation
of another work that could have waited

i pray you remove all greed that keep

creeping into my heart, including hunger
for more work sometimes done in your name,
for your sake with no time for ‘awareness’,

an increased concentration of the One

that matters most at any given moment
to augment energy to complete the task
at hand; this i lack and from you i ask!

making her nest

i observe my daughter growing

from dependence to independence
breaking away from comfort and security
from living under my shade and shadows
to that making of her own nest!

and i congratulate her though inwardly it hurts

sometimes like an anginic piercing in heart
and i know this must happen
and it is to this end my parenting
should journey towards!

this makes me wonder

whether it is a sign of immaturity
that i keep coming to you seeking
shade and shelter under your invisible
wings like a chick running into her mother
hen’s wings every time a raven fly past by her!

teach me then the art of balancing

between my dependence on your providence
and my need for independence
another aspect, the other side, of your providence
demanding my growing into maturity
of body, mind, heart and spirit
that i will eventually be equipped to judge
critically, and create the new city
with you in the ocean i am placed!

place me higher

your face i seek so intensely though often

i stumble around not knowing how to seek
your countenance more effectively and knowing
not exactly in what form i will see
your semblance before my heart will be content!

there is just one desire that is predominant

in my heart though many more may dash
like hundreds of waves dashing at the shore;
and that one is to have you
to my mind’s far-reaching fulfilment!

it is only in you and in your face

that i will find my perfect rest
from all these restlessness that stems
from my search for you
and your exterior expressions!

delay not to visit me with your distinct

form and content that will lead
to the transformation of my life
lived at present in many prisons
from which i am unable to escape!

release me from my prisons and protect

me from those growling dogs
around me snarling all the time they see
me, ready to tear me into pieces
considering my stand too radical!

place me high up on your hill

where neither storms nor floods
can touch me, or the enemy approach to kill
me to rid of all my unpolluted thoughts
emerging from my seeking your face!