subtle presence

your subtlety in your work

transforming sorrow and pain

to joy that, eventually

overflowing like the water

in the athabascan fall amuses me

while your hidden-ness remaining constant

with your patience, never short lived

like a water-fall but like a long river

continuing, with certainty to ever expand

to grow, to nourish another on the way

to give, and never ever count the cost

remaining subtle even in a merge in the ocean

henry victor     20.06.2010

pitching your tent

 

pitching always your tent

where i have pitched mine

beside my neighbor’s

you remain my lord

you are my peace

from above

a light from heaven

with life like an ever-flowing river

to quench my thirst

you are that glorious whole

the most holy one

my feeble feet discover rest

in your place

you are the pioneer

that stone in the corner

by being my servant

serving me in my need

henry victor     02.02.2003

meaning

those events, joys and pains

that you send on my way

are designs that you, the unseen artist

scratch, sketch and etch

that i may ponder in my heart

the secret

intentions of that invisible artist

but never am i permitted

to publicly interpret

to proclaim

the meaning of artistic events

making me a mute

in the very presence of your absence

© henry victor     17.12.2008

emptiness

a million dollar diamond

and a priceless pearl

these were my possessions

as i continued my journey

to that well lit city beyond

with deathless life

i guarded my wealth

even as i passed through hills

and vales to enter the region

with chasmic ravines

crossing breaking ice bridges

often falling and then crawling

and creeping again

to ground that was harder

but only to throw at the end

the two, and myself

jump into that emptiness

never to be heard

never to be reported

© henry victor

invite

it is the dead that invite

me to their table

as the living twitch

their nostrils

whining that odour

the lack of success my body yields

even as my mind

now ploughs chive and garlic fields

to spice and fill my thoughts

with heart healthy food, to dance

beauty despite pain and death

kicking out luck, that chance

© henry victor        13.08.2017

sun in midnight

i am

with me alone

my tea-candle lit

wavering,

gently

silence surround

but the buzzing in my furnace

and an oozing, a little noise

in my laptop

remind the working well

peace? yes

no peace? yes

that beyond is mine

my quest

understanding? yes

not understanding? yes

that beyond is mine

my present

emptying, that self-emptying

a self-esteem found in Jesus

walking to his tree

lifted high, higher than

any social ladder could lift my soul

if possible, before my sleep

with no dream and no blanket

wool, cotton or the synthetic

most ticks those that itched

my mind and body have left me

looking and searching for other dogs

leaving me to heal the scars

they left on the skin of my soul

i sit alone contemplating

that balm that removes

stain on my spirit

will i find, or not

matter very little

to me now

but i am looking

with that midnight

sun

that matter most

henry victor     05.11.2011

announcing your presence

your presence i seek beyond my thoughts

acknowledging your being, and i struggle
to connect also with your becoming
that is part of my own biography!

in my pain i see your pain; and in my joys

i enjoy your joys discerning and discovering
your faint presence wrapped up tightly
in my feeble presence that is spat upon

and trampled under the feet of those tall stout

and short and slim, the so-called elected
members of today’s Dunvegan  Sanhedrin
and i, now, wait for your risen presence

with patience and a new spirit of inquiry to walk

ahead beyond Golgotha into Emmaus to break
bread with Jesus for  my heart to glow and feel
a warmth as my tongue announces your presence!

 

Emma and Eva

your ways in the world, for me at least

is always a mystery, and often
very irritating to my sensibility!

Emma at her old age turns to you with great love

but all she reaps in that turning is more pain!

Eva despite her own misfortune works so hard

to care, but hardly anything comes easy on her way!

in this, how do you expect me to announce

your providence, your intimate presence
with those who call your name!

i pray that you heal Emma

and make the burden easier for Eva
proliferating your presence in their path!

 

one that lasts

there is one that i desire

and there is one that i seek
as i turn to you in my prayer:
that you be in me and i in you

for if you are the primary cause
of all life and if it is to you
that i return, then i rather
remain in you forever

wealth much i sought

wealth much i lost
education much i sought
and much i found useless

fame and family i lived for

in the past are mere fumes
that pass away too soon
like the clouds of the morning sky

my mother i loved her

my father i respected him
my daughter i much cared for
but all have vanished like vapour

incline my eyes to see you

incline my heart to feel you
incline my soul to bear you
incline my mind to seek you

for you, and you alone

i am now inclined to own
for it is for your presence
and being, i am now a slave

 

place me higher

your face i seek so intensely though often

i stumble around not knowing how to seek
your countenance more effectively and knowing
not exactly in what form i will see
your semblance before my heart will be content!

there is just one desire that is predominant

in my heart though many more may dash
like hundreds of waves dashing at the shore;
and that one is to have you
to my mind’s far-reaching fulfilment!

it is only in you and in your face

that i will find my perfect rest
from all these restlessness that stems
from my search for you
and your exterior expressions!

delay not to visit me with your distinct

form and content that will lead
to the transformation of my life
lived at present in many prisons
from which i am unable to escape!

release me from my prisons and protect

me from those growling dogs
around me snarling all the time they see
me, ready to tear me into pieces
considering my stand too radical!

place me high up on your hill

where neither storms nor floods
can touch me, or the enemy approach to kill
me to rid of all my unpolluted thoughts
emerging from my seeking your face!

 

a contemporary confession

you are the very source of my life
though you always remain invisible to eyes
with limited focus and incomprehensible to mind
leaping like a monkey lacking patience

i sit not still to carefully weave together

the available evidence for your being
ending at the end doubting you and failing to feel
your presence pleasing my heart, compelling conscience

i am rarely ready to choose your will and walk

in the path you choose as it winds through the dark
valley lacking fame for self and also deficient
with worldly wealth but in plenty is repeated failure

though you have always remained sufficient

for saints who cherished your presence; they learnt
the art of quiet mind and the heart that only houses
your throne, emptying the vessel they sailed calm

but i am growing like a plant bent and choked

by a crowded surrounding desperately turning
towards the life giving sun to shine on her body
to yield a few fold before drooping to die

i pray, hence, you stoop down to lift me up

to the realm of your regular presence, the grace
i may breathe in and breathe out, your life-giving
silver rays to make my limbs strong and stout

 

always something there

sure, there is always something there

to clean up, to be made straight

i am aware that you are perfect

and perfection is that towards which
you gently, and often not so gently
tug me, nudge me and push me

but my perfection is dependent

on your all-pervading presence
that your hand may re-make
and re-mould my inner person

my being has been corrupted by the world

with much filth, and in turn
my soul, with much dirt, too has polluted
the world you created so beautifully

so, again i plead for your covering

my soul, with your gentle hovering
over my every moment and every space
that i escape not from your presence

your presence is your providence,

the fertile soil in which my soul
thrives like a tree planted by the brook
yielding fruit in season and out of season
with no withered branch, nor leaf
drooping to taint your glory

 

praying a psalm

my awareness of your presence on earth

is more important than owning  my breath!
your subtle existence despite my denials
critically breathe purpose to the cosmos!

in this broken world your face

further gets distorted by chants
of your name arising from tongues
denying space for your silence!

as i survey the skies in the night

the working of your invisible fingers
the moon, the planets and the stars
established beyond the human cities

when i see the seas, the dreaming in your heart

and the massive whales haunted by human trickery
as i consider the jungles, a vision of your mind
and the enormous elephants hunted by manly greed

i see my smallness and pause to look up for help

to break barriers that create inequality among
the diverse beings with their multiple creeds
caring and healing all beasts, birds and fish

but who am i that you should stop

to listen to my pleadings, my helplessness
i know, for sure, you care for me, your created
being to do your peace, piece together your beauty

henry victor     27.05.2002