mountaintop experience

i sat there on top of the mountain
unmoving like a rock
waiting as long as thirty five years
for an illuminating mountaintop experience

a transfiguration to happen, i hoped

one such as peter, james and john witnessed
with that man who walked to his gallows
courageously but only with his loin cloth

and suddenly there was smoking

spitting of also a little lava
but only for four days
before that volcano erupted with fire

brimstone, even saint patrick that day

could not protect me from her hot ash
emptying wallet and honoured existence
transforming me to a destitute

and in that new status

i deciphered my summit, my buddhahood
as i discerned the futility of that bottomless pit
i tried hard to build for my comfort