sun in midnight

i am with me
alone
my tea-candle lit
gently wavering

silence set in

except that buzzing
in my furnace and an oozing
of a little noise
in my laptop, my qur’an
reminding, the working
is perfectly well

peace, yes

no peace, yes
that beyond is mine
my current quest

understanding, yes

not understanding, yes
that beyond is mine
my present food gathering

emptying

that self-emptying
that self esteem
found in jesus
walking to his tree
lifted high, higher than
all social ladder
could lift my soul
i need to climb

if possible

before my sleep
with no dream
and to cover no blanket
wool, cotton or that
synthetic

most ticks

those that itched
my mind and body
earlier
have left me
looking for and searching
other dogs
leaving me to heal
scars they left
on the skin of my soul

i sit alone contemplating

that balm that removes
strain
and stain on my spirit

will i find or not

matter very little to me now
but i am looking
with that midnight
sun
that, and that matter most