pilgrim in pilgrimage

this morning i pledged

in the presence of Canadian geese

i, like their kind, would be at ease

to fly back and forth

to remain a pilgrim in pilgrimage

without securing my location

and i would enjoy the moment

always beating the winter

cold and dark and let it never

dictate, or control my soul

expecting, always, great moments

and attempt to do greater doings

henry victor      26.04.2007

escapee

 

you were just a few months old

when we bought a dozen of budgies

to keep the house noisy and colorful

it was then that one of these birds

got out of our aviary

that tore my heart and caused me pain

not because of the loss of my funds

or the decrease in the sound

but the escapee knew not

to survive in the outside world

marked by too many predators

now with three months more

for you to be eighteen

and with your flight

away from my sight

the same concern surfaced in my heart

leaving me with a sleepless night

henry victor      26.09.2007

at the burial-yard

i prayed fervently

for a child to take my name

and gently hold my finger

as she walked her days

and nights to teach me

the art to age!

ignoring my petition

he dropped you in my hands

with grace to spoil

and teach you

the science of kindliness!

then i prayed again

to dry the womb, to remove

all threats of filling my heart

with a step-fatherly love!

for i knew the sweetness

of snuggles and cuddles

for a healthy girl!

and now i age

evolving as a grand-dad

with a step-father at my burial yard!

© henry victor          30. 06. 2016

illusory expectation

time for me today is like a frozen

river, running only underneath

not in my eyes i see a flowing

moving of your hand, a beating

of your heart right within my heart

absence here caused by your busyness

elsewhere made me wait in vain

but i blame you not for my devotion

rooted in an illusory expectation

not solid like my pillow on my bed

for me to indulge in a deeper dream

surfacing from that brain within

© henry victor      23.01.2016

fret in my heart

i stand before you, in your unseen presence

and present myself with that disquiet caused
by that unrest among those uneasy with the loss
of power and influence they hitherto enjoyed

with no concern for growth of yours!

anxiety fills their heart foreboding a sense
of alarm in my soul of the current turbulence
that may kick strife and conflict all around

creating more disturbances and fighting

to death; the present turmoil and agitation
create plenty of disorder and instability
for my continuing work, adding nervousness

and a sense of restlessness causing

more discomfort! my present apprehension
and fear of losing my control, eventually
the current employment cause much distress

this makes me fret and i am troubled

deeply in my heart and filled with angst
and anguish creating that menacing sorrow
crippling my life, taking away calm i long

abyss

my wings faltered and into an abyss

i fell from where i saw a deeper hole
within the cave of my heart, and more
i lingered there, i saw more craters

bigger, creating a deep void within

and the more i pondered that hollow
within the more frightening it became
and the gulf outside too stretched afar

i thought then with what shall i fill

that chasm deep within my soul!
from that drift, an alienation i am
how do i free myself, my being?

henry victor     01.07.2002

 

just in

each morning i wake with your gentle pat
that floats in the dawn light lightly touching
my cheeks and forehead after a good night
sleep with you beside, sleepless, watching

over my feeble frame with that anxious soul
fearful of the faltering arteries, vessels capable
of blocking, or clotting blood that streams
through to keep together the nightly dreams

that i at dawn may pet, pat another soul revealing
your essence, demanding me to bend down
to kiss him sleeping beside after repeated rolling
to lodge my pillow and with his arm to hug to own

henry victor     01.03.2013