unpredictable being that becoming

your unpredictability like the wind blowing

where it chooses to blow that i hear, clearly,
the sound on my body but not, plainly, knowing
where it comes, or whither her path would be

increases in my mind the sense of mystery

to surround you and your ways of dealing
in my world making my thought on eternity -
your unchangeableness - i received, a heresy

leaving me to wonder, and wander after you

like Moses journeying alone in Sinai wilderness
for so long before he gets a glimpse
of your being, energy in the burning bush

i, now, drive through the Albertan bush

seeking like Jonah, Jeremiah and Jesus
a restless rest that comes from resting in an endless
ever-expanding being, your unceasing becoming!

 

fret in my heart

i stand before you, in your unseen presence

and present myself with that disquiet caused
by that unrest among those uneasy with the loss
of power and influence they hitherto enjoyed

with no concern for growth of yours!

anxiety fills their heart foreboding a sense
of alarm in my soul of the current turbulence
that may kick strife and conflict all around

creating more disturbances and fighting

to death; the present turmoil and agitation
create plenty of disorder and instability
for my continuing work, adding nervousness

and a sense of restlessness causing

more discomfort! my present apprehension
and fear of losing my control, eventually
the current employment cause much distress

this makes me fret and i am troubled

deeply in my heart and filled with angst
and anguish creating that menacing sorrow
crippling my life, taking away calm i long

i am envious

i realize i am almost, always, envious

of those who get away with all their wrongs
and i keep complaining about the flourishing
of the evildoers, forever scheming
and making no authentic reference to you!

i pray that you will teach me to delight

in nothing but in your sheer presence
bringing home your providence
the form and content i cannot dictate!

help me to be content with your will

that i may restrain my stubborn will
revolting against yours, insisting on my requests
that require not for my greater well being
known not at this flash before a further becoming!

fill my heart with peace that passes all perceptions

too human, too momentary, even if it is soreness
to my present mind incapable of weighing with care
the real gold from that which only glitters!