subtle thread

yours is the invisible, so subtle
thread that is threaded with my threads
many in number and knotted
threading also my pains like beads

colourful, and as if they are pearls

of great value; hence you bend down
to pick every single bead
that rolls down to escape your diligent

threading by my mind’s protests

and my heart’s constant cursing
my creator, owner of all beads;
rescue me now with your thread

lifting me high into your vehicle

from this pit of bitter cold and cobras
that sting me constantly to kill
or, cover my pit to choke my voice

nothingness to nothingness

my trembling and tottering

on the brink of nothingness
all around and within me
prompt me to turn towards you
like my cacti to the sun

but you remain silent
unknowable despite all
my years of seeking you through
the many mythos and philosophia
floating like rain clouds in the oikumene

but did i not see you gazing
in the direction of nazareth
the man wearing only a loin cloth
booted out from this world

so i turn to him in hope
only to find him emptying
his wallet and his soul
leaving no room for bloating

he permits only heaven’s winds
to bring whispers to his whisperings
and clouds to float him back into that
nothingness the world battles to fill

same rhythm: let go

except the fools and the stubborn
know the rhythm of life is same
in north, south, east and west
and all sing sacred songs, saying

prayers looking up, or deep within
to that beyond, beyond the ordinary
consciousness, while blessing those around
and performing with folks ceremonies, rituals

religious in essence, ever struggling
to follow instructions as the earth woman
the spouse of the morning star,(1) struggled
before breaking command to feel

loneliness while man was out
hunting, gathering food
to return home to feed
family, evolved from a simple promise

broken by a longing for someone
not the spouse, by letting in the flood
of lust, the beginning of loneliness;
in sky country too they let go the woman

(1) The story is told among the Blood Kainai people of Southern Alberta about a girl who married the morning star. She went to live there with the spouse and the day she failed to obey the instructions of the husband, she became lonely and eventually returned to her people on the earth. Cf. The Girl Who Married the Morning Star, by Mary Hays and Louis Soop, World on a Maple Leaf: A Treasury of Candian Multicultural Folk Tales, Edmonton: United Cultures of Canada Association, nd. Pp. 45f.